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RESILIENCE - The ability to overcome during difficult issues.

Drawing by Kaori - 9-yrs-old Drawing by Kaori - 9-yrs-old
Yesterday, the girls were escalating their emotions as they were working on taking charge of their own half of their bedroom. The window is one-third on Kirin’s side and two-thirds on Kaori’s side. Kirin wants the venetian blind on her side to be up more so she can put some of her precious items on the windowsill for display. Kaori doesn’t like the overall look when the blind is at an angle because she wants it down all the way.

Grandma talked with the girls and we talked about finding a word that would remind them to not escalate their energy, getting out of control. That was part of the homework Grandma learned at her workshop on RESILIENCE last Friday, by Oren Sofer at this place here in Marin County called Spirit Rock.

We decided to use the word “Yin” to remind us that yin from the dark side reminds us to also incorporate Yang and the light side - both are necessary parts of our life and neither is just good or bad.

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Drawn by our granddaughter K... Drawn by our granddaughter Kirin
The serviceman for Xfinity was just here - here at 8am and on Father's Day. He just told an incredible story. His 81 year old father was told 10 years ago that he had Lung Cancer and was dying. A couple weeks ago he needed to go to the hospital because of Pneumonia and they were going to release the father to hospice.

They just found out his Pneumonia got cured and he never had lung cancer. Happy Father's Day!

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ADVICE - Word of the day

Working toward Great Ideas!! Working toward Great Ideas!!
The top five mentors in my life are my husband Sam, our daughter Kelly, my Grandpa Tsukamaki and my heritage. Dr. Suzuki of TALENT EDUCATION and Dr. Shaklee who exemplified a way to balance physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health with a home business.

The love of my life is to put the ADVICE I’ve received into concise packages and share them at appropriate times with those I meet who enjoy my “passed on advice” from my mentors.

Niki Baklinski and I have put some of the advice into a program called CHEER - addressing Children, Healthy home, Eating healthy, Emotional health, Retirement health.

It's fun! I love feedback and good new ideas!

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KINTSUGI Japanese Garden at t... KINTSUGI Japanese Garden at the JCCCW in Seattle
Literally means: "mended or put together with gold".

Tara Lemmey filmed and edited Sam’s Memorial. As I watch the video there are some tears; but mostly I am thankful for the memories, by so many friends and relatives, of the eighty-five years of a well lived life!!!

Andrew Baklinski says, "Sam and Dee gave us a special plate for our wedding which got broken. I was also broken with Chronic Fatigue. I give credit to them for being the gold in my life with their Shaklee and counseling."

His inspirational comments come from the explanation of a KINTSUGI PLATE on our living room shelf. Sam bought it from Sam Takahashi at the Mariko Tada Japanese antique shop that was once located in Seattle’s Medical-Dental Building on Olive Way. Sam Takahashi had explained, "Valuable broken plates, repaired with gold by a kintsugi artist, takes on even greater value."

The Japanese Culture and Community Center of Washington in Seattle named their Japanese Garden KINTSUGI. The bronze filled fissure, in the concrete gathering area, represents the mending of lives, especially of those of us with Japanese Heritage, after years of discrimination and incarceration.

Sam drew a comic strip last year of a Kintsugi artist in the habit of preparing his brush by wetting the hair bristles with his lips. The artist as drawn by Sam, in the comics, is suddenly aware that the lacquer and gold dusting through the years did a number to his mouth. Therefore, putting a twist on the value of Kintsugi.

Sam also worked with gold. He left a legacy of 'gold rings', which daily fill in the cracks of loneliness. I'm almost daily asked where I got the rings on my fingers as I pay for things in this my new life.

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Dawn to dusk NEW BEGINNINGS Dawn to dusk
"Start by doing
what is necessary,
then do what's possible
and suddenly you are doing
the IMPOSSIBLE." -Francis of Assisi

Clouds of death ended the last year 2017. Yesterday, June 1st, I attended our grandson Zachary's 8th grade graduation. Basic education is the necessary. Zachary not only completed the necessary but was one of the recipients of a scholarship for the next phase of his life at Notre Dam High.


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Upon awakening the other day, I discovered our nine-year-old Granddaughter had decided it’s her responsibility to put out vitamins every day. She also took it upon herself to clean up and lock the patio door after we had dinner, appreciating Seattle’s sunny May evenings, out on our deck. This was all on her own without any prompting.

The ‘RESPONSIBILITY’ factors being addressed as I work with our grandchildren are what I first call “basic needs”. Maslow, the famous psychologist, in his hierarchy of needs diagram says, “The basic needs are physiological ‘having needs’ - food/water/warmth/rest. That includes clothing, shelter and safety needs.

During most of one’s childhood, RESPONSIBILITY is in the hands of outside parents and teachers. Maturity and becoming adult means the child becomes their own teacher/parent taking care of the child inside of each of us.

Some of us think we can operate at the top and live in constant ecstasy. There are those who obsesses on one level - even when it's helping others.

With practice and responsibility, maturity and adult activity is gradually acquired as one reaches higher and higher, completing each of the levels in Maslow’s diagram on a daily basis.

Fulfillment in life is to daily reach all the levels.

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Finding Talents and Life Skills Finding Talents and Life Skills
Coming home on an Alaska Flight from Kona, HI, to Seattle, WA, I got settled in row 22 and we took off. About three rows back of me, a toddler about 3-years-old started to cry loudly. That seemed logical for toddler ears to be affected and it was easy to put up with it for a few minutes but it didn’t stop.

All the passengers around me and I started frowning and looked at each other, as the crying carried on. Well, it did stop briefly, but the tone was fitful and started up again. Exceeding our normal tolerance, my seat mate commented, “What kind of parents would let this go on for so long?”

The crying kept going for at least 20 minutes. Finally, when it stopped I responded, “That’s a little permissiveness on the part of the parents all right. Our kids would never be allowed to go on like that. But I do counseling and here’s something I’ve observed. That little kid is going to be one ‘H’ of a corporate executive or something like that some day.”

I’m always looking to bring out the best in individuals. Dee’s Personal Mission in calligraphy, hangs on our kitchen wall, “To bring out the best in myself, my partner and others”.

One of the tools I’ve created for bringing out one’s best was developed from world famous music educator, Dr. Suzuki’s method, he calls: Talent Education. He emphasized the Triangle of Learning - Teacher/Parent/Child working together and equally involved.

‘Outside’ or in person Mentor/Teacher and Parent is where one starts in learning. The goal is to gradually develop an ‘Inside’ Mentor/Teacher and Parent that takes care of one’s own ‘inside’ Child. That’s what I call maturity and becoming adult.

In his book OUTLIERS Malcolm Gladwell explains his rule of, 10,000 hours of practice to be successful people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Dr. Suzuki suggested a child could put in 10 years of practice, starting at age three before they got busy with high school and career planning.

In counseling, I first practice the habit of listening to “naughty” behavior and personality issues to see why, where and how people express their energy. Then, I suggest, “You are using the ‘Flip Side’ of your talents or skills.” Choosing the positive side often takes practice.

The term “Flip Side” was coined by Niki of our Go To B-Healthy team.

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Eating people for lunch :-)

On the 10th, I posted: Having World Famous Dr. Suzuki for Lunch. It was something I had written to follow up on what I wrote about tone and my friend Michi. I asked Kirin to draw an illustration to go with the story.

Since the granddaughters are staying with me this week, I posted another one of Kirin's stories. She was excited and also did a drawing.

Then on Saturday, a couple days after I posted on Thursday, I decided to read Kirin's piece and did some editing. Then I realized her story was about eating people!! I also noticed that her story came first as you read my posts.

"I have to change the title of Dr. Suzuki's lunch story!!!!!" and I did.

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The Sad Tale of Oreus and the Horeodites

Written and drawn by Kirin Written and drawn by Kirin
After the defeat of Darkness, Norea decided she wanted new children, good ones. So she created an orb, using the light of Webs and the soul of Darkness. Once the she blew on the orb, it glowed and came to life. Millions of tiny spirits she called the Sprits flowed out of the orb like a glowing wave. At last, Norea had good children. Or so she thought...
The Sprits began going into bodies and twisting them into monsters. Four maidens, Vera, Hora, Alla, and Carra, were spending a nice day in the grasslands when tiny blue light rushed towards them too fast to notice. Four of the Sprits went into each of the maidens and rushed back out. They had done it.
But the maidens felt sick and nauseous and began twisting and turning into horrifying beasts. Suddenly, they were hungry for humans and transformed back into maidens, but this time with the power to transform into monsters and kill with one scrape of their claws.
Instead of having to hunt, food came toward them. A young man, Oreus, came strolling towards them, blowing funny pipes. The Horeodites, as they called themselves now, were smart enough not to change into monsters yet, considering the distance between them was far enough that Oreus could run if needed. So one of the Horeodites, Carra, went up to him and Oreus immediately fell in love with her. They married happily, but as soon as Carra gave birth to a child, she smiled and looked up at him. Carra turned into a monster and before Oreus could scream, he was killed and eaten for dinner by the Horeodites.
As for the offspring and why Carra was waiting to give birth to him, he was called Schacco, a shapeshifter who could shapeshift into anyone or anything. But that is a story for another day.

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Preparing Lunch for World Famous Dr. Suzuki

Drawn by granddaughter Drawn by granddaughter
"Every Child Can Be Educated"

It was almost noon and the last minute tempura ingredients still weren’t ready, especially the shrimp. I had invited world famous Suzuki Method Talent Education originator from Japan, Dr. Shinichi Suzuki, to lunch with three of the local music teachers. Sam stayed home from work to help. Our five-month old baby was fussing. Three-year-old, Lynette, was trying to be helpful. That was April 1968. We also had some snow that day.

Dr. Suzuki was visiting a few cities where Suzuki Method was being implemented here in America. Being treated mostly with Yankee food, I naively thought I would fix him a Japanese treat. Those days, we were young, poor and didn’t think about taking guests out to a restaurant. I was twenty-nine years old.

Dr. Suzuki was gracious, but singularly focused on his mission: Every child can be educated. As he came in the door his first words in Japanese were, “Let me hear your daughter play ‘Twinkle’.

Lynette opened the case, brought out her one-eighth sized violin, “taka, taka, tak, tak.” doing her best. This was followed by ebullient words of admiration.

The previous year, on one of our walks around our block, I heard music coming out of THE LITTLE WHITE HOUSE across the street from Holy Names Academy – girl’s high school on Seattle’s Capitol Hill where we lived. Sister Annella noticed three-year-old Lynette and enticed me into considering violin lessons. She explained, “A teacher is coming next month from Matsumoto, Japan, to help me with this Suzuki Method Violin and Cello program. Three-years-old is the perfect time to start.”

I was able to understand and interpret some of the first training sessions when Miss Yamaguchi, one of Dr. Suzuki’s first trained teachers, arrived from Matsumoto, Japan, in May of 1967. Subsequently, I helped organize a non-profit Suzuki Music School.

One of the main reasons Dr. Suzuki’s method for violin, cello and flute is phenomenally successful with thousands of preschool age youngsters around the world is that parents and teachers never tire of praising a three-year-olds of any small accomplishment and the parent has to be strongly involved. Suzuki emphasized and nurtured the Parent/Child/Teacher - triangle of learning.

Through the next ten years of violin and piano lessons, it was clear to Sam and me that our girls gained the skills of performing in front of an audience, gained confidence with a skill in learning, but were not destined to be more than casual performers of music. Most of the advanced successes, of which there were many, needed clarity of a musical vision and dedication of parents. The joke among parents and teachers of the Suzuki Method was that Dr. Suzuki didn’t have children of his own to deal with day-to-day challenges.

Fifty years later, I consider the Suzuki educational principles of learning, growing in confidence and building of personal fulfillment in my life are secrets I can share. The Parent/Child/Teacher triangle of learning is the basis of the counseling profession I have pursued with my masters in psychosocial nursing.

Before he died in 1998 at age almost one hundred, Sam and I had another opportunity to entertain Dr. Suzuki, but by that time we were smart enough to take him to Seattle’s Space Needle.

Now, Sam has also passed, but I have decided to fill my empty house with lunches with my friends.

The irony is that today in 2018, we have gone full circle. A deserving guest might find it rewarding to be treated to lunch in our home again where we can leisurely spend a couple hours and not fight the noise and customer turn over needs of the restaurants.

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