Yesterday, I realized that I enjoyed the Husky and SeaHawk football games because Sam played and liked football. Without him here to watch the games together I don’t find them as much fun.
The most difficult part of this new life is that a huge part of each week, for fifty-six years, was spent planning and cooking meals, shopping for groceries and buying household things and clothes - thinking the whole time about Sam’s tastes. I was lucky, he cared about how I dressed. That didn’t stop me from buying things I liked, but I would end up taking things back or not wearing things that he didn’t like. My philosophy has always been: "If I can think of three things that make me happy and feel good, why not choose the one that also makes my partner happy and feel good?"
One thing we did together, I plan to continue, is writing. It’s not as much fun without Sam’s critiques and drawings, but I’m confident that I have things to say and want to continue to leave a legacy of our heritage and good values.
I’ve been blogging weekly for over a year now and I enjoy it when I get feedback and the readers enjoy reading what I have to say. I have always had a mission with my counseling degree: “To bring out the best in myself , my partner and others.” I told a new friend yesterday, “I want be and agent in changing people’s lives”!!
Today I watched a discussion on BOOK TV of five published women writers. The theme was of how they are learning who they are by writing. What I liked best about the discussion is that they all loved their roles as wives and mothers but are excited to help women IN THE PRESENT - NOT COMPLAINING - appreciating the possibilities forward.
I feel good about who I am. My roles are changing and IT’S CHANGING MY LIFE!!