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Ralph Bruksos' Blog

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  • "THE REVERSE AFFECT"

"THE REVERSE AFFECT"

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I have come to believe that I should be careful as to how I talk to and treat others, especially those in a subordinate relationship.

Those who made a wrong decision, or chronic bad decisions, or were rude to a customer or peer.

The “old way” of management, it was necessary to show the other person who was the boss: maybe “sharpen ones sights” although the transgression or mistake didn’t warrant it.

A manager, smiling, said, “If I am going to be in charge, I must remind the team member who is the boss.

My insight on the subject of control was expanded recently. The freeway traffic was light, I had been on cruise control and it was on the exact marker of 60 mph, not 66 which seems to be OK, 60 means 60 not 67 or 68.

Now, it becomes a control issue. A man confessed, “I am a control freak”, when the speed line is 60 mph I am going 60. I am in control. When I am going 67 I have abdicated control. The trooper now has control. As the friend said, “I am going 35 mph in a 35 mph zone, I am in control.

A man said being a control freak in a marriage can be so rewarding. If one treats their mate with love, kindness, gentleness, integrity, etc., they have a strong voice on the subject of staying married. If one is preoccupied with self, mean, selfish, prone to gossip, they have abdicated their role in the marriage, they passed control to their mate.

If they are virtuous and putting their mate first, they have a strong position in the marriage being a success.

Of course, some fall out of love based on personal reasons, but those who want to stay married can increase the odds of success.

One said, “Never more trust than with our children, I tried the autocratic, controlling way, they quietly scoffed. When changing to more love, thoughtfulness and listening, they too changed and my success increased.

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