Learning how to Coach in English ("Brilliant Coaching", Day6), Listening (1)

Good listener!
Hello everyone!

I am an executive coach supporting and encouraging people who work in companies or organizations.

By reading the book titled "Brilliant Coaching" by Julie Starr, I will continue to put some key points about coaching at work.

The topic is "Focused Listening" and let me divide it into two parts as follows.

Part 1: Good listeners
Part 2: How we should listen


Focused Listening, Part 1

- In coaching conversation, your need to listen goes beyond a simple need to hear information.

- When we listen to someone really well, we can actually help them speak and express themselves. If they recognize they are really being listened to, and so can relax and simply speak.

- Good listeners build rapport and warmth more naturally, through their increased focus on other people.

- The quality of your listening is directly linked to your attention. So, good listening demands that you make a conscious effort to listen.

- You need a clear minds, free of chatter - and that flows more easily from your attention.

- The basic principle of good listening is actually that you need to 'be with' the person you are supposed to be listening to.

- A good way to increase your capacity to create a stronger attention is to practice 'present-moment awareness' - this means you must clear mind and focus on what's happening right now.


That's all for today. See you tomorrow!

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Learning how to Coach in English ("Brilliant Coaching", Day5), Rapport

"Rapport" stems originally from 'bridge' in French.
Hello everyone!

I am an executive coach supporting and encouraging people who work in companies or organizations.

By reading the book titled "Brilliant Coaching" by Julie Starr, I will continue today putting some key points about coaching at work.

We are moving on to the section of the "basic skills of coaching" in the book. The core skills this book indicates are;

1. Build rapport and relationship
2. Focused listening
3. Effective questioning
4. Flexible style of influence
5. Constructive feedback

Chapter 5. Building rapport or relationship

- If you want to encourage others to be open to and trusting of you in a conversation, you must be able to create healthy levels of rapport.


- What is 'rapport'?

(1) Rapport is the sense of warmth, comfort and affinity in a relationship which comes in part from 'sameness'.

(2) Rapport also refers to your quality of relatedness to someone else.

(3) Two people with good rapport are more likely to trust each other, and their willingness to be open with each other will increase.


- Why is rapport so important in coaching?

(1) Positive rapport helps you influence someone constructively

(2) We encourage people to think for themselves, and that is much harder without good rapport.

(3) We sometimes need to challenge people or give them feedback in a way that builds confidence rather than discomfort. It's important that feedback are challenge are received effectively and good rapport helps you be viewed as a supportive colleague rather than a critical threat.


- How to build rapport

(1) Relax! That allows you to be able to notice subtle signals.

(2) Next, have the intention to be more 'related' to the other person. For example, focus on a thought like 'how are we the same here?'

(3) Notice, what might be causing lack of rapport - look for major differences.


- Empathy' is the ability to relate to another person in their own terms and will help you build rapport.


That's all for today. See you tomorrow!

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