gotohealth's Blog

The other day, I had coffee with an acquaintance. She went on and on, “This world is falling apart.”

 

I’ve been listening to a Price Pritchett podcast. He is one of the foremost experts on fast-growth and personal development strategies the last forty years that is still relevant. I mentioned in our family discussion, Pritchett says, “There are two scales of the voice inside us. One is the ‘Victim Scale (negative thinking)’ and the other is the ‘Hero Scale (positive thinking)’. Research shows that we get farther ahead in life and faster by cutting down on the negative voice rather than being more positive.”

 

The thing that get’s us tangled up is that 70% of our thinking is habitual and shows up in five ways: Complaining, Criticizing, Concern, Commiserating, Catastrophizing. When we actually want to change and make that quantum leap, the first thing the body faces is to worry about the “dangers”.  The second voice is a drop in “self trust”. This is all wired into mankind from the cave-man days.

 

So, the take-away advice is not necessarily the value of being optimistic or positive thinking. That activity is on a whole different scale. People see me as seeing the bright side of life, which comes easily to me; but separately, I am better off working on reducing the Victim Scale.

 

Personally, I have avoided daily national and local news programs. Secondly, I am learning to forgive people who have hurt me and habitually speak “victim rhetoric”, by loving them from afar.

 

Third, I’m helping administrate a KIP TOKUDA MEMORIAL grant for our JCCCW writing group OMOIDE VII. The grant was created to not forget the tragedy of Executive Order 9066 where with only 1/16th Japanese Heritage 120,000 individuals were incarcerated during WWII. Our stories have shown resilience, but with this new grant we are collecting stories of “Compassion”, including the larger non-Japanese community, where neighbor to neighbor-friend to friend, they helped overcome the hard times of imprisonment and discrimination.

 

I’m setting a personal goal with these Washington State funds to:  “LOWER THE VICTIMIZATION SCALE, one conversation at a time, with story sharing around the state to also lower the “victimization scale” of today - SPREADING RIPPLES OF COMPASSION AND GRATITUDE.

The year was 1993. Ann Gaponoff put up a sign at Island Books about starting a writing group because she had gone to her sister Frances’s wedding in Michigan the year before in September and connected with a wedding guest, Kathrine, about writing. A group responded here on Mercer Island, but Ann and I found the group unsupportive and decided to meet ourselves. We felt we needed at least one more person. I was able to talk Juanita into driving to my house on Mercer Island from her home in Seattle and joining us. 

 

When Christmas was approaching, we put our writings together, went to Kinko to print the 40 pages, made construction paper covers with a fan of colored tissue decor and called it COLLAGE. “Collage” because we were proud of the fact that Ann represented being Jewish, Juanita being of black heritage and I am of Japanese heritage. We then passed out the booklets as Christmas gifts.

 

Juanita sent one copy to Thelma. Thelma didn’t get around to reading it right away, but when she did, she read the first poem: TO MY SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW ON THEIR WEDDING, written by Ann. 

 

If I have the story right, Thelma then couldn’t believe it because she and Frances had gotten to know each other in Ann Arbor, not all that long before this time! 

 

Juanita, you became my big time “LIFE MENTOR” when I was your assistant at Seattle Steven's Elementary Title One tutoring classroom in 1970.  The synchronicities you brought to my world have been life changing. 

 

Thank you, Dee Goto

Penny Simkin is a world famous Child Birth Educator, born in Maine with Mayflower heritage. She has been a close friend for 60 years. We were neighbors in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood. A nice welcome fuss was made over the fact that we were of Japanese Heritage by all our neighbors. Some of the protest marches came past our houses on 23rd Avenue. Despite all the turmoil of the 1960s, everyone was making efforts to integrate. Penny says, “My Quaker heritage taught me to be accepting and helpful.”

 

What cemented our relationship was when my second pregnancy was interrupted, Thursday, October 26th, 1967; five weeks earlier than the due date. Penny took me to Northwest Hospital with an Abruptio Placenta, with 20-40% mortality of mother and child according to research of that time. I swear, “Daughter Kelly kicked her way out, and we survived because of her quick entrance.” She was in an incubator until she reached 5 pounds two weeks later. According to my husband, that was why we had no more children.

 

It was 12 noon, we had just finished listening to “WUNDA WUNDA” on Channel 5.  My water broke and I started to bleed. I was able to get hold of Penny, dialing the wall phone in the kitchen and then lying down on the floor to talk, with three-year-old Lynette helping as much as she could. Penny, ran over and took Lynette home to her house, where she also had three preschool children. She called Sally Herard. Sally had her own three preschoolers, so Marvin Herard, came to Penny’s house to baby-sit while Penny drove me to Northwest Hospital in her blue/white Volkswagen Bus. Kelly was born at 1:41pm.

 

Penny is a Physical Therapist by education, but she is credited with starting a world-wide  child-birth education movement in 1968. I like to think that we might have had a small influence?

 

For 60 years we have celebrated Penny’s birthday in May, Sally’s birthday in September and my birthday in January. On March 11, 2024, Penny text me and cancelled our Lunch date because she had an upset stomach which ended in hospice care for a mass on her pancreas and a spot on her liver.

 

Nothing like acts of friendship as Penny made Seattle, Washington, home and contributed world-wide. Just got word today, April 11, 2024, that Penny went on ahead of us. 

Wedding is in California and it’s spring and outdoors not far from where Alex grew up in Orange County. I’m in Washington, isolating with COVID! Remembering Sam and my Christmas Eve winter event in 1961 and Lynette and Joe’s summer wedding on a boat in 1994. With Joey and Alex in spirit!!

 

They are likely making commitments of Love, Mutual Respect, Equality and sacrifice with the 60+ guests. 

 

One of the important wedding roles, aside from the bride and groom is the Official, who is granddaughter, Avery. As I understand it, she also participate in a lot of the preparations.

 

Waiting to get more info and pictures.