Blog Thread
- KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT DURING PROBLEM TIMES & CATCHING THEM "DOING GOOD"!!
KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT DURING PROBLEM TIMES & CATCHING THEM "DOING GOOD"!!
Jul
25
PRACTICING AND CONTINUING TO LEARNA granddaughter Kirin drawing
Yesterday, I drove 15-yr-old to Groveland Beach for sunning and swimming with her friends. Since we were alone in the car, I had a chance to discuss some recent "rise in temperature discussions" and compliment her, “I really like how you stay respectful of your Mom when she is reminding you of cleaning up your room and helping keep the living room clean.”
She answered, “That’s because I do respect her. She is a single Mom and has a big load of responsibility.” The answer was somewhat a surprise. I felt good about how we are communicating, but I know we have to keep practicing and learning.
Friends ask me, “How is it going with your daughter moving in to your house with her two daughters?”
I answer, “I’m good at keeping my mouth shut. I have a rule: No talking during problem times.” This is a rule I teach and counsel. I learned it from a class I organized, where I had a teacher come to our home when our daughters were in in their pre-teen years - PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING.
The skills I had to start learning and find myself still learning are:
1. Learning to quickly recognize “problem times” and “cross communication issues”.
2. Keeping my mouth shut until I can use effective “I language” and “Adult to Adult Communication.
3. Making dates “one-on-one at public places”, discussing issues and “Thinking Beyond Stage One”.
4. Catching others as well as myself, “Doing Good”.
My blogging style is to keep each blog short with an incident or two and new insights I have gained as I keep learning. Therefore, I will discuss each of the four skills listed above in separate blogs going forward.
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