I like the thoughtful expression of how I like living my life!!!
I like the thoughtful expression of how I like living my life!!!
Her son came home after the first day of school in September and was telling his mom about school. As she tells the story, he hasn’t been one to have any girlfriends and such. He was also fumbling around to find words to explain about this new girl in his third grade class and said, “She took my heart!”
Recapping my morning, my friend, Kathryn, in Green Bay, WI, messaged me to give her a call so we could talk about plans for the Shaklee Spa we’re planning for this weekend. I decided I would call her when I got to the car and could talk while I drove to my Eye Doctor appointment at 10am. I had forgotten to water my plants yesterday on plant watering Sunday; a ritual Sam never missed all the 45 years he lived here.
I got in the car and it was very foggy. I headed east on I-90, but the fog was pretty thick and because I was talking with Kathryn, I missed the 148th Avenue ramp. I had to drive all the way to Issaquah to turn around. By this time it was getting late for my appointment. I got off at Eastgate, but coming from that side, I couldn’t find the shortcut to Crossroads Shopping Center on 151st. I kept turning wrong and having to do u-turns. I finally made it to Dr. Coday’s office, only to find that my appointment was next Monday.
I had promised to pick Michi up at noon so we could have lunch and go to see CRAZY RICH ASIANS. I had a couple hours to kill.
So, looking in the mirror, I saw this scary face!!! I had to come home and do a little bit, even if I know it shouldn’t make a difference, before facing any more people. There are plenty of mirrors in our house, but this verifies that I don’t have that narcissistic quality.
The reason, I make this analogy is because NARCISSISM (one symptom of a narcissist is that they constantly look in mirrors they pass.) is showing it’s ugly face in our lives. It’s getting close to Halloween. It would be nice to find this a temporary Halloween phenomenon?
Yesterday, I realized that I enjoyed the Husky and SeaHawk football games because Sam played and liked football. Without him here to watch the games together I don’t find them as much fun.
The most difficult part of this new life is that a huge part of each week, for fifty-six years, was spent planning and cooking meals, shopping for groceries and buying household things and clothes - thinking the whole time about Sam’s tastes. I was lucky, he cared about how I dressed. That didn’t stop me from buying things I liked, but I would end up taking things back or not wearing things that he didn’t like. My philosophy has always been: "If I can think of three things that make me happy and feel good, why not choose the one that also makes my partner happy and feel good?"
One thing we did together, I plan to continue, is writing. It’s not as much fun without Sam’s critiques and drawings, but I’m confident that I have things to say and want to continue to leave a legacy of our heritage and good values.
I’ve been blogging weekly for over a year now and I enjoy it when I get feedback and the readers enjoy reading what I have to say. I have always had a mission with my counseling degree: “To bring out the best in myself , my partner and others.” I told a new friend yesterday, “I want be and agent in changing people’s lives”!!
Today I watched a discussion on BOOK TV of five published women writers. The theme was of how they are learning who they are by writing. What I liked best about the discussion is that they all loved their roles as wives and mothers but are excited to help women IN THE PRESENT - NOT COMPLAINING - appreciating the possibilities forward.
I feel good about who I am. My roles are changing and IT’S CHANGING MY LIFE!!
The point is that all this made up scary and morbid stuff doesn’t bother me as much since it's now been almost 10 months since Sam has been gone. It is even helping me make fun of death. It’s like making a game out of my emotions and turning it into icky “slime” that the kids all over are making for fun these days - YUK!
Yesterday, I dropped the girls at their school and I noticed the coat hooks are outside on the wall before going into the classroom. The 5th grade granddaughter was sad last week when it rained in the night because she loves gym class. It was sunny by gym class time. Such is life in California.
Today, I drove out to run errands, enjoying the sun. Then as I was coming home I felt nostalgic and found it kind of boring to see constant sun. It's nice to live in a country big enough to have choices. I like having to make clothing wear adjustments and make changes in activities due to the weather.
Perhaps in Seattle, I have more practice for as Frankie Laine says: "If you want to see the sun you have to weather the storm."
My cousin just sent me this John Wooden quote that suggests a good frame of mind about dealing with making changes like the weather:
"I'm not what I ought to be,
Not what I want to be,
But I am thankful that I am better than I used to be."
Yesterday, we watched a Youtube video by Dr. Ivan Joseph about building "Confidence", with "Practice, practice, practice."
We are getting a lot of practice working to deal with non-truth telling as positively as possible. Should we be grateful for the practice??
For sure, 10 minutes a day of consistent practice will improve a chosen skill!!!
Watching Dr. Ivan Joseph, winning soccer coach at Rylerson U, talk about: "Practice, Practice, Practice!!!" He also refers to writer, Malcolm Gladwell's, 10,000 hours. That's 20 hours a week for 10 years - to become professionals like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and my friend, great pianist Michi North.
Financial issues highlight the lives of most of the people around me. Why???? Money is a measuring tool, but I never thought of it as measuring my “emotional state”??
Does that mean, when we were taught to save with “piggy banks”, we were also being taught to manage our emotional health?
By the way, why are piggy banks pigs?
They are actually shaped like pigs because they are called piggy banks. You see, In Middle English, "pygg" referred to a type of clay used for making household objects, such as jars. People often saved money in kitchen pots and jars made of pygg, called "pygg jars”.
When I was three-years-old in 1943, I got a tin “piggy bank” for my birthday, a globe of the world. We lived on a farm near Caldwell, Idaho, in an area called Sand Hollow. Mom, Dad, me, my grandpa and two uncles all lived together. My twenty-year-old Uncle Frank was the social one. He had a bunch of friends that came from the Minidoka Camp where the Japanese were incarcerated and worked on our farm. When they finished their work on Saturday, washed up, ate and came out of the kitchen, I remember sitting in this bay window in the living room and they would each give me a nickel. At that time, I was taught to save nickels for college.
When I was seven-years-old, my Mom took me to town and I bought a twenty-five-dollar savings bond that would mature in ten years. I think I paid something like sixteen dollars. I did cash it in when I went to Lewis and Clark College ($25 in 1956 = $235 in 2018).
I learned early to be a saver. Maybe, it is a good practice today to save for the “college of learning” for emotional balance?
This morning I got in my exercise on the rebounder and the rowing machine. Then, I thought about how my older daughter, the media and the universe has been encouraging me to establish a “meditation ritual.”
It occurs to me that my Japanese forefathers in Japan even got squatting exercise at the same time.
So what should I do next?
As I heard in an interview on Book TV yesterday, “I write because I have questions??”